I wish I could say it's an experiment but it's more of a survival tactic. I'm going cold turkey from Facebook.
Every night as I get ready to go to sleep, I reflect upon the day and how much time I've wasted on FB and resolve to stay off of FB the next day, delete games that suck time, lock myself out. And then each morning, I'm back online wasting hours of my day. So, last night, when I made my nightly resolution that would not be followed through the next morning, I retrieved my computer, went in and changed my FB password to something too long and complex to remember (I used ISBN numbers of one of the books laying around — I don't remember which), used a random word generator to toss in two word and then randomly chose a word out of a book. Too late I realized that I could have used a password generator that comes up with basically impossible to remember passwords.
Anyway, the only way for me to get into FB now is for me to tell FB that I can't remember my password and have them send it to me. Hopefully, this will be enough of a barrier. I sincerely wish that FB would allow me to both get off and then put myself onto an irreversible "don't ever let me back on this again" list. But, I'm thinking that it may not be in their best interest to provide such a service.
It's now been more than 12 hours since I've been on FB. Okay, if we take out the hours I was asleep, it's now been 5 hours since I've been on FB. How sad is it that this is probably some sort of record for me? One thing I'm noticing is that I feel disconnected. What I'm missing is sharing things. Hence my turning to this and sharing here instead.
What is this about? I managed for much of my life (that is, the good 40 or so years prior to the appearance of FB in my life) to not need to share every damn thought that popped into my head. Now I feel compelled to toss my thoughts out into the universe. It's not that I expect or care that someone's reading or really paying attention, there's something about the sharing itself that I miss regardless of the feedback or lack thereof. Just the act of sharing give me a sense (imagined or not) of being connected.
Is this a good or bad thing? Is writing here, an obvious way to share and feel connected, having a negative effect elsewhere in my life? Is this need to share something that I should be indulging or is it something that I ought to view with suspicion and as evidence of some sort of character flaw?
Regardless. It's weird' since I never felt like I needed to share until I took away the ease of doing so.